70-Something Man Reveals Biggest Lessons Learned From Older Women

His list includes everyone from Betty White to his mother.

By

Tom Ferraro

 
Published April 02, 2025
illustration of elderly man looking toward portraits of older women
Sonia Pulido

As I near 80, I draw strength and guidance from those who have successfully navigated this often-challenging journey of growing old. They include both the famous and the lesser-known, like my mom, Vicki, who passed away at 94 with a smile on her face.

I began chronicling life in America as a young reporter who considered 50 "over the hill." Over the years, I saw the elderly with mounting health issues, from diabetes to heart disease. But thanks to advancements in medical care and lifestyle changes, I also witnessed those 85 and older become one of the fastest-growing segments of the U.S. population.

During my trek, I observed many elderly individuals, including those in their 80s, excel. They showed how to age gracefully and productively while embracing life with more enthusiasm than countless people half their age. Among them were individuals I met as a reporter or an aging student. Others I read about in admiration.

This weekly publication is named in honor of Dr. Ethel Percy Andrus, an educator and elder rights advocate. In 1958, at 73, Andrus founded the American Association of Retired Persons, later renamed AARP, to advocate for seniors and provide them with affordable health insurance.

In 1967, Andrus died at 82, having forever changed our perception and care of the elderly. "It is never too late,” she said, “to make a difference in the world."

On August 23, 1983, I introduced myself to Emily Feistritzer, an education researcher, at a news conference in Washington, D.C., where she announced her findings on America's teachers. Three decades later, at 70, this former nun founded Moreland University, an online school that trains and certifies teachers worldwide.

Recently retired, Feistritzer, 83, spends her winters in Florida, where she considers possible new ventures, walks her two dogs and socializes with fellow forward-looking seniors. "They don't ask me what I did," she says. "They ask me what I do."

Young Lee, 88, teaches tai chi, an exercise for the mind, body, and soul. Susan Moger, 82, teaches creative and biographical writing. I met both while taking their classes at the senior center in Edgewater, Maryland.

"Keep moving," Lee tells me and my 70-something classmates. Most of us are at least a decade younger than Lee, but none move as well as this former computer programmer with hearing loss turned fitness queen and Senior Olympics gold medalist in table tennis and power walking. "Inhale. Exhale. Shake your arms gently," Lee says. "This is not a torture class."

Moger, a former volunteer firefighter and education editor, published her first novel at 74. A cancer survivor who cares for her husband, a disabled military vet, she is now writing two more, her third and fourth. "Writing improves with practice, which you can do at any age," Moger tells my class. "Write on!"

"Baby Boomers," born from the end of World War II to 1964, numbered about 67.9 million in 2023, and will begin turning 80 next year. God willing, I'll be 78, and, as Moger says, I'll "Write on!"

The U.S. Census Bureau reports that those 85 and older, "the oldest of the old," are expected to more than double by 2050, reaching 17.4 million, while the overall U.S. population is projected to grow 7 percent to 360.6 million. In 2024, an estimated 5.5 percent of those 80 and older worked or sought work, many saying they saw no reason to stop.

Last year, The World Health Organization concluded in a report: “There is no typical older person. Some 80 year olds have physical and mental capacities similar to many 30 year olds. Other people experience significant declines in capacities at much younger ages.”

On October 19, 1983, I interviewed Betty Friedan, marking the 20th anniversary of her book, The Feminine Mystique, which helped begin the women's rights movement. Friedan died on her 85th birthday, February 4, 2006, after addressing other significant issues, including growing old. "Aging is not lost youth … but a new stage of opportunity and strength,” she said.

In 1987, actress Bette Davis, a heavy smoker who worked late in life despite health problems, told ABC's Barbara Walters what I now know, "Old age ain't no place for sissies." Davis died two years later at 81.

A highlight of my career was covering the White House alongside fellow United Press International reporter Helen Thomas, the pioneering dean of the White House Press Corps. In the early hours of January 16, 1990 — the start of the U.S.-led invasion of Iraqi-occupied Kuwait — I urged Helen, who had barely slept for the previous two days, to go home and get some rest, as it seemed we wouldn't receive any further updates from the U.S. anytime soon.

Thomas, then 70, rejected my offer and gave me a lesson on journalism toughness, saying, "I don't go to sleep while America is going to war." She retired nearly 20 years later at 89. She died at 92.

Like Helen, my mother, Vicki, was tough and smart. A gifted writer, she penned obits of the recently departed at her retirement community, making all sound like saints. For years, Mom was a saint, caring for her ailing husband, my father, in honoring their marital vow, "in sickness and in health." When I saw my mom dying with a smile, I smiled. She was at peace.

When I think of my mother and other resilient older women, I view the road ahead as a challenge to embrace rather than one to fear or try to ignore.

Actress Betty White joked and philosophized about old age on the Today Show in January 2020: “You don’t fall off the planet once you pass a given age. You don’t lose any of your zest for life, or your lust for life, if you will.” A comedic genius, she drew laughter and applause throughout her 80s and into her 90s, dying on New Year’s Eve 2021, just weeks before what would have been her 100th birthday.

Is there an older woman you really admire? Let us know in the comments below.

    

Thomas Ferraro is a freelance writer whose work has appeared in several publications, including Smithsonian Magazine, The Baltimore Sun, and the Society for American Baseball Research. Earlier in his more than half-century career, he was a national feature writer and White House reporter for United Press International. He later joined the New York Post and then Bloomberg and Reuters, where he served as senior congressional correspondent.